Being "OUT"

It's a touchy subject. It really is, and I can understand the fear of coming out for millions of homosexuals across this world. Coming from a Caribbean family, it is not easy ..even when I am not the first homo in the family..to come out to the family! I'm out to the rest of the world, kissing my fiancee and holding her in public, and definitely not being ashamed of our beautiful relationship. But as my family continues to acknowledge her as 'your friend', it makes me wonder if my very real relationship will ever be accepted.

I already have a very dysfunctional, uncommunicative family and it isn't easy to talk about being gay at all. It has never been discussed and I doubt it ever will. Even with my fiancee's traditional European family, things are hush-hush even though their butch daughter is an obvious lesbian. I don't know what is so horrible about it, you'd think parents would be happy that we weren't getting pregnant and fucking the whole football team at age 15! If their worried about procreating--well lesbians like kids too! Hell, I have one heck of a strong baby fever! And as for the male 'breadwinner' status, well with both of us being educated for successful careers, making over 100k a year, I'm sure we'll be able to afford a home and a car and live comfortably. What is it that the parents dislike about their family members being gay?

I wish there was more publicity and information for parents for understanding the dynamics and the life of a lesbian or gay family member and how it doesn't really differ at all! If they could learn to accept it, it would make it easier for everybody!

There are many great organizations and websites dedicated to the 'coming out' of lesbians and gays, and I think the 'coming out' stories are very brave and helpful for others stuck in the closet. For gays and lesbians with brutal, strict and homophobic parents to those with traditional, religious parents and bullying siblings and ignorant cousins, I really hope that they will some day feel comfortable with their own families and their sexual orientation. I really do.

10 years ago, when I was 17, I had my first gay experience, which confirmed my feelings for the same sex, although I had known for some time before this. Hopelessly in love, I was clumsy with my discretion, and my sister had found a letter from my boyfriend, Chris. My parents did not take to it at all, and I was sent for recourse with a psychologist for over a year, and I never did see or hear from Chris again. My mother died about a year later, which filled me with guilt, although I had no responsibilty for her death. My relationship with my father has been strained for years, and I decided to move to overseas, and begin my own life. I was always angry with the way things turned out - that is, that nothing was on my terms, everything was decided for me by my family. However, after years of resentment and fury, I realized that I had nothing to be angry about at all - for it was all wasted emotion, when I should have been spending my time more wisely on thing that did matter to me. Since moving away, it has brought my father and I closer, however, I am still at a distance with my sister - should this change, I would very much like it, but she needs to make the first change within herself. ASHTON- as told to rslevinson.com

I found these two articles very helpful!.

http://comingout.outgaylife.com/2009/08/11/telling-parents-gay-lesbian/ and

http://comingout.outgaylife.com/2009/08/12/coming-easy/