Harry Potter Rocks!

We are not the sci-fi type of people but my Fiancee and I are really loving the Harry Potter series. Our eyes have been glued to the TV screen as we watched the whole saga from the Philosopher's Stone to the Order of the Phoenix. The Half Blood Prince is next and we are sure to watch the new one being made, ready to be released in 2011. (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows*)

We never thought we would be into it...but hey, we are! That's why it's always good to try something new ;) What we would've missed out on...Quidditch, cool spells and Dumbledore =)

-M

Piqueing up the Guitar

Hey there, everyone!

I just decided today on a whim to learn the acoustic guitar. I don't know if it is the fond idea of playing 'round the cozy campfire up North or awesome videos like http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaWjmV_8Nm0 this that makes me fervid to play--but I am unstoppable. I spent the latter part of my day studying notes and chords and listening to Instrumentals. I have played on my sister's acoustic in the past--but there's nothing like your own baby. I will be picking up my guitar on Friday, and he already has a name. Elvis. Yup, that's right. I named my guitar Elvis. Don't ask why--it just felt right when I lay eyes on my him.

My fiance is skeptical that I will play for two weeks and Elvis will collect dust but I know I will be playing Elvis almost every night until I'm a pro! I am eager to learn songs like 3 Little Birds (Bob Marley) and Leaving on a Jet Plane by John Denver. I can't sing for the life of me, but why not learn? It'll be a fun karaoke! I'm so excited about getting a guitar and learning to play, I think it's a great hobby and I really respect guitar-players. They just look so comfortable playing. =)

There is something so powerful about playing the guitar--and beautiful. I'm absolutely infatuated!!!

-MB

Natural Birth VS Medicated Birth

http://pregnancychildbirth.suite101.com/article.cfm/natural_birth_vs__medicated_birth

http://childbirth.amuchbetterway.com/

http://yoursnaturally.net/bradley_home.html

http://www.achildbirth.com/gallery-of-vaginal-childbirth-video-clips.html - link to natural birth videos.

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Natural_Childbirth_-_Keys_to_a_Fulfilling_Experience.html

I have been torn between the thought of having a natural birth or a hospital (medicated) birth!

The idea of herbal baths for the newborn, pushing and feeling the naturalness of childbirth and being fully alert when I give birth is quite attractive--but a part of me knows myself too well. Any pain at all and I run for the Advil, and I often stop exercising because of the muscle tension.

It does sadden me to have a hospital birth because I don't really like the idea of baby and drugs mixing, but I know if I am in excruciating pain (and mothers: saying the pain was like a bit of cramps is such a lie).I've heard of women being torn open and screaming (and seen the videos too); I've heard of women who wished they were dead because the pain was so intense and I've heard of women who were in SO much pain they couldn't even continue! The doctor had to intervene.

Now, I plan to have a few children and I plan to go to Lamaze classes, learn the Bradley method, do yoga, strengthen my body and mind because I do believe that as a woman--I am capable of enduring childbirth and pushing this baby out of my body and into the world. I am very interested in water births especially, because this is a soothing idea and seems much more comfortable than lying on a hard hospital bed. I am very relieved that many birthing centres in my province had rooms with birthing tubs and being able to labour and give birth in the pool with my fiance is possible. I am also very wary about the pain of being ripped apart as baby comes out. That, to me, is worse than the contractions. I just couldn't image an 8lb 7ounce baby boy with a big belly and even bigger head coming out of there. Yes, I do know about the wonders of the vagina and how it can stretch, but OUCH!

I don't quite know how I will exactly plan for the extreme pain of natural birth, which is the way I want to go (but knowing my very limited pain threshold, will likely not :( but I know I will try my hardest. And I do mean try my hardest. I was thinking doing the hypnotizing, prenatal acupuncture, everything--even some Buddhism. I should expand my pain threshold (maybe cigarette burns and carrying heavy loads?) so that I can tolerate pain more easily. I think to myself, this is something that billions of women have done throughout history--why am I such a wuss? And celebrities come out looking amazing the next day--can't be that hard? I hear such stories filled with hope about women who only laboured for an hour or two and popped out a gorgeous babe--perhaps I can do the same?

But ultimately, I want to be the least selfish and give this baby the opportunity for a safe and unmedicated birth. Now, if it is so excruciating I would shoot myself in the head--then next time, Baby #2 I should think about drugs. I like the idea of gas as a pain reliever. It's not as harsh as an epidural.

I will have to do some more research and think about it very carefully. My fiance says when she gives birth she wants the drugs :P which is quite ironic because she has a much stronger pain threshold than I do. But I also love the feminism behind it, and the whole New Age vibe it has (the herbal bath, the doula, the chanting, meditation, calming candles, etc) and the way it sort of brings you back to Nature and the way things "should" be. Listening to your body and the such. I hope childbirth isn't too painful to bear unmedicated, but there's only one way to find out.....

Keeping It Together

As the daughter of a heterosexual couple whose marriage fell apart before I was even born (while I was in utero, actually); the matter of marriage and couples staying together is very important to me. Why? Because it affects the children, that's why. And as someone who is in a loving, passionate relationship that I want to last all eternity (we are engaged at this point) and continue to be a source of happiness, I understand it takes work to keep marriages and relationships together. I want couples to stay together--whether you are straight, homosexual or transgendered. It's important. Think of the kids!

Here are some of my own tips to keeping the marriage/relationship together: Be social! Have friends, go out and look good, and have a life. Don't be too social where you are too drunk to go to work, or you're on your cellphone 24/7. But have some sort of a social life you can be part of, and your spouse/partner.

Look sexy. I think we forget once we are in a long term relationship to look attractive. I forget sometimes too and I get a little too comfy in my Lululemon yoga pants. But dressing up, showing some skin and being seductive goes a long way to keeping your spouse/partner interested. Wouldn't you like them to always be attractive too?

Communicate. Duh. But really, I'm not talking about long debates about the turn of the century and such, just small communication is key. Acknowledge when they want a kiss, a hug, an ear to hear about their stressful day, a story from the past--talk, joke around and use your body language. Wrap your arms around your loved one in the morning when you're both in the kitchen,, spank her butt, kiss her neck, nod when she tells you about how stupid the landlord is for hiking up the electricity bill again---pay attention to your spouse/partner when they are speaking to you!!! Don't ignore them and stare at the TV or laptop. Always make them feel important.

Do things together--spontaneous things. Even with my fiance, we always do the same thing--we are always downtown. So we decided to take a 10 day trip up North to Muskoka, and come back and go to Canada's Wonderland (similar to Disneyland) where we could ride fun roller coasters together--something we haven't done in our relationship before. It's good to dream up new things to do together--big or small. Try playing a new board game like Scrabble if you're both avid spellers, try painting a mural on the wall together, joining a salsa class, going on a summer cruise, or if it's cold going ice-skating and out for a hot chocolate. If you're always inside, do something outdoors like going to a Wildlife Conservative. If you're always outside, try doing something inside together like having a hot bath or shower together with candles and incense. And don't do it once in a while--think of new things to do with each other all the time!

Share the child-care duties. Women are overburdened with the children. If you want the dads to be there, let him do things his way with the kids. If he doesn't know how, teach him gently and patiently like you would expect your parents to when you were learning how to ride a bike or read a book. Allow the dad/spouse/partner to enjoy every moment with you--let him dress, play and take care of the kids his way. And do things together as a family always. Eat dinner at the table, go for evening walks, go to the circus. A family that does things together, stays together. The children need two parents, and it's alot easier for both of you. Don't feel guilty when you have to hire a babysitter to spend some romantic time together--you're adults too. You're children will appreciate having two parents when he's older than having only one who was working her/his butt off.

Listen to each other. Stop being insecure, he's not interested in another girl! He's just looking. Get over the small things. They are not worth fighting over. Stop complaining in general. Look at the positive in life---try to have a sunnier disposition when you wake up every day. Be grateful for your partner/spouse, for being alive and healthy, for everything you have in your life. Try to quit bad habits if it is interfering with your relationships. Get to know his/her music tastes and suggest going to his favorite band's concert together. Be open minded, be generous and be thoughtful. I think that these things might just help.

If you don't remember anything I said remember this:
#1 communicate the small stuff--nods, butt pinches, etc
#2 stay attractive - wear that LBD or some sexy panties around the house
#3 be spontaneous- try new things with your partner to keep up the fun factor

Multiculturalism is a Good Thing

I have been on Yahoo! Answers and found an alarming amount of racism and discrimination posted on the site. I just couldn't believe it (even though, yes it is the Internet and they could hide in their rooms while posting heinous things) and just had to clear it up a little bit. For all the people who hate a single race or color, or more than one, it would be a good idea to actually learn about their cultures, values and their race. They are different than us, yes, but they live in this country too (or your country) and they are people ultimately--with hearts. Why don't you learn a bit about them?

Indians http://www.webindia123.com/india/people/people.htm ; http://www.indianchild.com/amazing_facts_of_India.htm

Did you know chess was invented in India? The largest employer in the world is the Indian railway system--employing over 1 million people! Ayurveda is the oldest known medicine practice in the world. The game snakes and ladders was created in the 13th century by Gyandev, and Sushruta is regarded as the father of surgery. Over 2600 years ago Sushrata & his team conducted complicated surgeries like cataract, artificial limbs, cesareans, fractures, urinary stones and also plastic surgery and brain surgeries.

Chinese http://www.lilith-ezine.com/articles/politics/Interesting-Facts-China.html

Gunpowder was first discovered in China where it was used to create fireworks, signal flares and small missiles used for military purposes.

Chinese President Hu Jintao loves Starbucks coffee (and so does Bill Gates).

Paper was first invented in China in 105 AD. It was a closely guarded secret and didn't reach Eurupe until the 8th century. Paper was first invented in China in 105 AD. It was a closely guarded secret and didn't reach Eurupe until the 8th century.

The United States has $7 trillion national debt, much of which has been loaned to the USA from wealthy Chinese banks. (WOW)!

Balkans - http://www.edukits.ca/diversity/balkans/student/infomatics_fun_facts.html

In Albania, nodding the head means no, and shaking the head means yes. Vesna Vulović (Serbian: (born 3 January 1950) is a former Serbian flight attendant. She holds the world record, according to the Guinness Book of Records, for surviving the highest fall without a parachute: 10,160 meters.

Africans - Benjamin Banneker was a self-educated scientist, astronomer, inventor, writer, and antislavery publicist. He built a striking clock entirely from wood, published a Farmers' Almanac.

In 1892, he patented a rotary engine. In 1897, Andrew Beard patented an improvement to railroad car couplers commonly called the Jenny Coupler (not to be mistaken for the Janney coupler). It did the dangerous job of hooking railroad cars together, Beard, himself had lost a leg in a car coupling accident. As an ex-railroad worker, Andrew Beard had the right idea that probably saved countless lives and limbs

There are thousands of things Africans have invented and been noted for in the development of science and it would be too time-consuming for you and me to read them all but here are a few notable ones: the lawn mower, ticket punch (or more commonnly the hole puncher), a disposable syringe, propellants for nuclear reactants, the golf tee; Lewis Latimer was the only African American member of the Edison's Principles.

Africa also grows large amounts of coffee, cotton, cocoa and rubber so if you like your Starbucks and chocolate--thank Africa! ;)

Now, if you keep reading books about the world's history and inventors, scientists and other cultures--you will find a plethora of knowledge and can make an informed judgment next time you feel like discriminating against a race. =) Think about it....Wisdom is knowledge.

Mixing Races: Shaking it All Up

As a woman who is 100% Dominican, and who is dating a woman who is 100% Albanian--we are bored! I love looking at mixed race people, and interracial couples and their unique beauty. I knew a couple who was Iraqi (the husband) and Israeli-Jewish-Phillipino (the wife) who had a newborn Iraqi, Israeli, Phillipino mixed son who was just adorable. And most of my friends have biracial children, or a child that is 3/4 white and 1/4 Black (meaning one of the parents were already biracial so the child is only a quarter black) and they are like little cherubs.

Stars like Lindsay Price, Halle Berry, Vin Diesel, Tiger Woods, The Rock and Rosario Dawson to name a few have either multiracial or biracial backgrounds.

In my opinion, having a child with diverse roots is a beautiful and special thing. There are so many types of biracial children out there, we cannot even keep track. Caucasian/Asian; Caucasian/Black/Balkan-European/Middle Eastern; Middle Eastern/Caucasian/Black/Asian;Black and Latino; Latino and Caucasian;Latino and Asian;Native Canadian-American and Caucasian, etc. Where does it end?

Some people are obviously biracial looking, while others can pass for one or the other race. As a woman who is going to have multi racial children, I am very pleased by the numbers of multiracial and biracial people and children out there!

Our kids will be very unique. My biological children will be Northern European/Dominican while my fiance's children will be Albanian/Carribean. Not only that, but they will have a White mother, and a Black mother which reflects their mixed background. When I was looking for a sperm donor, I was initially looking for one who looked like my fiance but she has such unique Yugoslavian features that I couldn't find one, nor could she find a male who looked remotely anything like me so we are just going to have these beautiful, biracial children.

Some people think when you have biracial children you have to raise them to be either "black" or "white" but I hope our kids see right through that. Those stereoptypes are ridiculous. I just want my kids to be kids--play videogames, go on sleepovers, discover in their treehouse, etc. We have a lot of diverse music in our household from traditional Albanian music, Italian opera, classic rock and occasionally Top 40 urban hits. We want them to be as diverse as we are in terms of extra-curricular activities (they can play basketball or golf, we don't care as long as they are happy!); music tastes, etc. We are going to do our part in educating them and instilling some pride in their cultural backgrond (mostly Albanian) and just seeing where it goes. I don't think they'll be more "black" or "white" I think they will have a bevy of multicultural friends from Afghani, Chinese, Vietnamese, European-White, Canadian-White to Black and Biracial, and I'm very fine with that! -MB

Secrets of a (Cheap) Shopaholic...

I live in Toronto, which isn't the shopping mecca of the world but hey, our Holt Renfrew makes up for Bergdorf Goodman. Anyway, I have a panache for expensive duds and my fiance would be happy as a bird in five dollar shirts. I crave brand name designer clothes and she...just doesn't get it. So I had to find a way to please both my sweet shopaholic tooth and her cheap-o one. (Although for a pint of beer, my baby would never resist).

We tend to stay away from Eaton Centre unless we're window shopping. This mall never has any sales because it is also a tourist mall, and set in the heart of downtown. Cheaper malls we frequent are Sherway Gardens, set in the very West of Toronto or the outlet mall Vaughn Mills in a neighboring city where you could get Lacoste, Hollister and Guess! clothing for 50% or cheaper. We shop at American Eagle Outfitters on our birthday because we get 15% off with our American Eagle cards; and we always go to the back of the store first at Abercrombie and Fitch and Hollister where they have good "sale" items for cheaper. If we don't see anything there we like, we then move forward as the prices increase (and so does my smile).

She still won't allow me to buy her four hundred dollar Bulgari shades from Sunglass Hut so I've been looking for them on eBay. When we bought our iPod Touch, I bought mine off Craigslist for half the price with three leather cases and although my fiance bought hers new with no case which was $300, we saved about $200. Whenever I want to by an expensive item, we have a garage sale. We will sell items on Craigslist so we have extra money and don't feel so guilty about it. (Sold our classic Super Nintendo system *tear*).

When we bought our Nintendo DS Lites, instead of spending hundreds of dollars on games (they retail from $14.99-$39.99); we went to Chinatown and bought the R4 Chip to download free games from the Internet (this has proven handy) which was the cost of one game. Now we both have dozens.

Another cool thig between both of us being female and the same size--we share clothes. I wear her "boyfriend" jeans from American Eagle, she borrows one of Adidas trackpants. That's another way to save costs. If you are bored of wearing the same clothes, look in your spouse's closet!! I am very sure I've taken over quite a few items she used to wear often.

And last but not least, we shop on Craigslist and Kajiji. They have amazing items there for great prices and we save a ton of loot--so my honey can spend it on Stella Artois beer. :) Don't underestimate the power of Craigslist!! -MB

Repeal of Prop 8 Vote in 2012

http://www.religioustolerance.org/hommarl20r.htm

After watching the epic movie, "Milk'; my emotions are deeply stirred by the Marriage Law conflict in California. I do not live in the United States, I live in Canada but it affects me as some who is adamant about the equality of all humans (I have a stand on many issues such as honour killings, Indian's population crisis, etc not just LGBTQ issues...but that's a different story :) and who is a very openly lesbian young woman. It saddened a lot of Canadians and people around the world when Proposition 8 was passed on November 4, 2009; not just Americans. I prospect that my chagrin will be removed in 2012 when the vote for Prop 8 will be lowered and this ridiculous law will be repealed, as it should be, and as it is in different States. These crazy Mormons.................We need more love and unity in this world, and whether it is same-sex or opposite sex or asexual, love is the strongest, most powerful force of good there is.

More than anything, my heart goes out for those couples who were aspiring to get married and were refused because of this new, asinine law. I hope they get on that alter, or to that courthouse, or feel the sand beneath their toes on a beach wedding and join lives and hearts and tie the knot so that it cannot be untied by people who fear and hate homosexuals. The American Dream won't dissipitate (although arguments say it already has) it just needs to wake up and change a few things, it's not the 1950's anymore. We can still have functional families with an alternative disposition. Once you have two parents who love their children and each other, that love can go farther than any 'dream' can.

I will be personally down in San Francisco for their Gay Pride Parade in June 2010 to march and publicize the issue at hand. It is a political fight, not just a "I'm here, I'm queer" party. Lives and families are at stake. We don't have a "union" we have a family. And if this thing was happening in Canada, I would be writing to every politician every day, protesting and publicizing this conflict until something was done. Nobody is going to sit back and let time reverse itself!

I am hoping big for the next few years to have some monumental change. <3>

The Patriotism of our Offspring

When my fiance and I decided we were going to have babies, I was exuberant with joy. I immediately began to search for bold, statement T-shirts to exemplify our diverse, multiethnic family (still in the making). Shirts with sayings like, "I love my two Mommies!" and "Hatched By Two Chicks" with little, cute rainbow coloured flags waving on tiny onesies were everywhere. I guess someone else thought of the grande idea.

We want our kids to be abundantly proud of their lesbian parents. I mean, first of all, we're cool people. We have cool jobs (magazine editor and police officer) and we have some cool friends. I already have a stack of movies like "Milk" and Aimee and Jaguar, Brokeback Mountain, Boys Dont Cry, The Hanging Garden, Saving Face, etc. I am going to be the kind of mother that hunts high and low for all sorts of children's books that portray LGBTQ families (rare, but growing) like the popular Asha's Mum, Heather Has Two Mommies, The Family Book by Todd Parr, and the White Swan Express.

We are going to have some amazing kids. My trilingual partner who is Albanian speaks Albanian, English and Italian and our kids will speak English and Albanian, while I speak English, German and Albanian. (Last one was a pain to learn with words like bje and cfare. Like, how do you pronounce that???!) It took a while. And I'm of Caribbean descent--and the sperm donors we have looked at are going to be reflective of our diverse background (the closest thing I could find to an Albanian sperm donor was from Kosovo but he looked like Frankenstein so I'm now contemplating a kinesiologist with a Danish background). While my partner's donor is going to be from the Dominican Republic (easier to find, and my background).

Like some lesbian couples, we have both decided to give birth. I am going first (yes, we played rock, paper, scissors and I lost ....just kidding!) and since I have the insane baby fever I am going to be sperminated by the end of my university program(I decided to go back to school for a degree)...I have 3 more years. While my partner is going to take the plunge before she turns 28 (she's 25 now). We are looking for a big suburban home so we can have a big suburban, crazy multiracial lesbian-headed family and raise our brood of Pride-loving patriots.

We are one of those really "out" lesbians you'll see grabbing each other's butt and professing our love in many different languages in public. I wear my engagement ring proudly and so does she; and living in a diverse city like Toronto we see lesbian/gay couples everywhere and we just sorta nod with secret appreciation of their existence although I'd gladly like to run up to them, squeal like a toddler and ask them for their number so we could have a coffee at Starbucks...once I start to walk faster my partner usually holds me back by the arm and whispers, "Darling, they're just like us. Leave them alone."

I have already decided every baby product I will get for our future kids who will be arriving in 2-3 years (God, that seems so far!!!!!) and we decided on the MacLaren Burberry stroller (I blame my obsession on these sorta things on Suri Cruise!! Damn the totarazzi!), a jogging E.B Vector 3-wheel sporty stroller for my tomboyish sweetheart, the Baby Bjorn Synergy Carrier (so in love with this product!!!) http://images.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://littlehedgehog.co.nz/images/catalogue/Baby_Bjorn_Synergy_Black.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.littlehedgehog.co.nz/index.php%3Fmain_page%3Dproduct_info%26products_id%3D409&usg=__FJL_EDkXyosb9TRIoDq3d2nqris=&h=300&w=300&sz=21&hl=en&start=11&um=1&tbnid=_zLpQBcY2RzZdM:&tbnh=116&tbnw=116&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dblack%2Bbaby%2Bcarrier%26hl%3Den%26um%3D1.

And the Ragazzi Etruria Collection Crib.

But other than my big baby fever, we have a lot of other things to prepare for like our 10-day North Ontario trip to Muskoka woo-hoo ! We'll be leaving in 4 days and getting some good fishing, swimming and bonfire-karaoke done, that's for sure! Although last time I was up North I was sucked dry by gelatinous, viscid leeches in the lake and we had to run from a brown bear (I s**t you not). But with our fingers crossed (and hopefully not bitten off), we should do fine! Us city-dwellers can do the big Northern part of our province! We can prove our Canadianism to these veterans of the forests and lakes! (Right now I am printing off instructions for How To Create a Bonfire....thank God for Google). -MB