Religion and being gay
In this section we'll look at attitudes that various conservative faiths share about homosexuality. It’s beyond the scope of this website to talk about how all religions view homosexuality, especially since these views are shifting all the time. However you could apply the ideas expressed here whenever you encounter homophobia (anti-gay views and actions) that are endorsed and fronted by religious institutions. It’s important to remember that not all strands of any given religion have a negative view of homosexuality. Some congregations openly welcome and value the diversity and individuality of their members.
Thought you might speak to god via prayer, nobody can actually sit down and chat with him, so nobody can ask him what he thinks. You mostly have family, friends, teachers and religious leaders telling you what god thinks and what they think he wants of you. Their views will be based on the teachings of their faith. As we know, religous teaching are often based on very old texts and it's impiortant to remember that the writer will have been influenced by the opinions and beliefs of their time. Also, the person who draws on these texts puts their own interpretation on the subject and may be unwilling to question what they read in the light of modern day thinking. Do you think a religious leader who believes homosexuality to be wrong and one who has no problem with same-sex relaitonships would give the same sermin on a single controversial topic? As in any area of life, we often have access to the same information as oneanother, but that doesn't mean we'd all draw the same conclusions from it. There's a lot of interpretation in religion and people take from it what they want to. Many terrible things happen in the name of religion and much good too. Some people kill in the name of their god and the values they feel he represents, while some relgious groups embrace diversity, value individuality and seek peace and harmony via this inclusive route.
Homophobia in religion isn't about god - it's about how people treat other people.
The way they see it
Homophobic people within various faiths tend to share similar beliefs: that homosexuality is a choice; something a person opts into or falls prey to as a result of bad parenting, the interference of an older gay person or by growing up in a bad environment. They also believe that god intended people to be heterosexual only, that it was his design. It follows therefore that homosexuals oppose god and are sinners, conducting their lives in an immoral and evil way deliberately. These people may also believe that since homosexuality is a choice, a gay person can opt to reform, to be cured of their homosexuality, become heterosexual or ‘normal’ and find redemption and forgiveness through this change. Some religions may be more tolerant to a gay or lesbian person who is celibate (not having sex), so a same-sex sexual act is seen as sinful, while same-sex desire may be tolerated.
Is homosexuality sinful or evil?
Homosexuality is a natural variation of sexuality. In nature, rarely is anything black or white, or one extreme or another. Sexuality is fluid and can be thought of as a scale (see Being gay frequently asked questions for more on this). At one end you have people who identify as straight, and at the other, gay. In-between you have many shades of grey: people who are attracted to both sexes, people who have had same-sex experiences in the past, people who prefer one gender but have fallen in love with someone of the same gender etc. Many people, many scenarios, many variations on sexuality.
When you think about the bad things in the world, what do you think of? Perhaps war, poverty, environmental mistreatment, child abuse, bigotry and hatred, racism and homophobia? Two people enjoying each other through love and sex is a wonderful, natural thing. It can give us intense pleasure and happiness, a heightened sense of fulfilment and wellbeing. Most people desire these things - it’s human nature. When a man and a woman share love and sex within a committed relationship this is celebrated in religion, while two people of the same sex might be condemned for living their lives in the same way. Love should be celebrated, regardless of the gender of the people feeling it. Love and sex are not sins, and people from all cultures and backgrounds are enjoying both right now, as nature – free of guilt and prejudice - intended.
Homosexuality occurs in animals too. You may have heard of the penguin male couple, Roy and Silo, at Central Park Zoo in New York who hatched and raised baby Tango. Another story from a German zoo revealed that attempts by zoo keepers to turn gay penguins straight by introducing females failed. These birds are following their instincts. They have sex, they seek to become fathers, they are devoted to one another. Homosexual behaviour has been observed in other species too, so if being gay happens throughout nature, surely it’s not sinful or wrong, but rather, a completely natural and normal part of the natural world.
Is homosexuality a choice?
I believe that people cannot choose their sexual orientation. I didn’t. I’ve never met anyone who claims they have. Indeed, I remember being bullied in school for being gay before I knew I was! People knew I was different. Similar stories crop up over and over again. Puberty kicks in and you find yourself being sexually attracted to other people, and nobody gets to decide the direction that attraction points in. Since I started this website I’ve read hundreds of emails from young people who’d give anything to be straight. It’s deeply sad, but they want to be like ‘everyone else’ so they don’t have to face the difficulties that society levels at them as gay people. They would love to have a choice. But they don’t.
I truly believe – and science continues to suggest – that homosexuality is genetic; it’s biology. Just like hair colour or perhaps a natural talent for a given sport or activity. You're stuck with it, and it’s only a big deal when you or other people make you feel bad about it.
I’d go further here and say that if homosexuality was a choice, and some people opted for same-sex relationships for personal reasons, then that still wouldn’t make homosexuality a sin. The fundamental point is that two people sharing love, sex and life is not sinful. It can be wonderful. People treating each other unfairly, with bigotry and crippling their human rights, is wrong.
Can homosexuality be cured?
There is no scientific evidence to suggest that sexuality can be altered, and I believe attempting to do so is damaging to a persons mental health, and only instils feeling of low self worth, confusion and guilt.
Since homosexuality is not an illness or negative condition of the mind or body – it is a normal variation on sexuality - it cannot be cured. Some faiths believe that it is and can be. Can a straight person turn gay if he or she tried hard enough? No. And it’s just as ludicrous to imagine someone wanting to. I once knew someone who was significantly involved with his church and underwent massive pressure to become ‘normal’. The emotional damage was deeply apparent. He quit the church in the end, much as he loved being a part of it, because he simply couldn’t change who he was. Everyone who’s ever written to me via this website who has attempted to change or hide from their sexuality has been terribly unhappy, lonely and desperate.
Sexuality cannot be changed. It’s like asking someone to change their skin. Sexuality is deeply embedded in us, and I believe it extends further than simply dictating what gender we find sexually attractive. Why did the kids in my school know I was gay before I’d so much as had my first kiss? Why could I spot the gay guys in college, even the ones who wanted very much not to be noticed? It’s woven throughout our being, it threads though personality and body. People don’t take lessons in being who they are – it just happens. Sure, we’re influenced by the people around us and we can choose to hide behind a disguise, but it’s impossible to be anyone but yourself for very long. I believe the only way to be truly happy is to embrace who you are. The closer you come to liking yourself and everything that you are, the happier, healthier and more fulfilled you'll become.
Judgement
You might be gay. I bet you also like certain music, maybe have a favourite TV program. Perhaps you are good at something or you have a particular talent. Maybe you are known for something you do, or a personality trait that people like about you. You are not simply gay. You are many, many things. Condemning someone because of their sexuality is deeply ignorant and narrow minded – look at everything else you are.
By what measure would you judge a person? By whether they are gay or straight, or by how they treat other people and how they live their lives? Religion should value and welcome the individual, and celebrate what that brings into the group.
I personally believe that if there is a god, who created all things, then it follows that he created gay people too. I can’t believe that any god – being good, loving, infinitely wise entities - would create gay people with the expectation that they should be lonely, miserable and spend their lives in denial of what and who they are so that they might be tolerated by others.
Religious bigotry is fundamentally a human rights issue: homosexual people deserve the same rights as heterosexual people, in worship and beyond.
Will I go to hell for being gay?
When you imagine hell what do you see? Perhaps you imagine a horrible place where the souls of bad people get sent after their bodies die, so that they can be punished forever for the sins they committed in life. It's pretty scary to think about eternal suffering, fiery caverns and Satan. That's why so many horror films and books use imagery like this.
Now think about who you think deserves to go to hell. Perhaps hell seems too cruel and awful for anyone, since torturing people for eternity is surely just as bad - or worse - as some of the crimes that apparently earn a person a place there. Maybe you imagine really evil people in hell; people who hurt and even killed other people. Chances are though, you don't think of gay people, and I'm sure you don't think you deserve to go to hell for simply being attracted to the same sex.
Remember, if God made all things then he made gay people too, and he didn't make them to be miserable in life and be packed off to hell at the end of it. He'd have put you here to be a good person, to be measured by your actions and how you treat other people, and if there is an afterlife, to enjoy it along with everyone else.
Don't be frightened about going to hell, and don't be bullied into behaving the way other people want you to behave by their telling you that you'll go to hell unless you comply. We all have different ideas about good and bad, and nothing in life is black and white. Live your life well by your own judgement, and do your best in the things that you do.
If there is a judgement at the end of your life it won't be based on whether you've loved a man or a woman, because neither is intrinsically sinful. Being gay isn't sinful. Sex and love are not sinful. These are completely natural and wonderful parts of life. It’s the value we put on things that determine whether they’re perceived as bad or good.
Taken from:
http://www.bgiok.org.uk/being_gay/religion.html
